Thinking, thinking...

I've been thinking a lot today. Mostly about family. Mainly my Grandpa Pete. Today is his Birthday, and also his and my Grannie's Anniversary. He passed away almost 9 years ago now. It hardly seems possible that he's been gone so long. Back in February, I wrote a blog about my Grannie and her 80th Birthday. I shared how special she is to me. Well, today I am reminded just how special he was to me too...I guess is to me. I can't even begin to put into words how much I miss him.

My Grandpa and Grannie really stepped up to the plate and helped out when my parents divorced when I was just a baby. As a result, they would care for us when Dad had to work early. When I started school, every single day, my Grandpa Pete would hold my hand and walk me across Highway 40 in good 'ol Granby, Co, just so he would make sure I was safe. Then again, every afternoon, he would come back across the highway, take my hand, and lead me safely back to the station or the house. I remember when I began to think I was too old to have him hold my hand and help me cross the street. You know when you're young and you're all worried about what the "cool" kids at school would say. Now, as an adult and him being gone, I would give anything to take his hand and cross that street with him. Funny how life changes?

Now, years after he's been gone, and years after my Grannie finally had to sell the station in Granby, I sit here and think of how different life is. I wonder how things could have changed "if only"...If only he wouldn't have gotten sick and they could have finished their life together. If only he was still with my Grannie to hold her hand when she was going through the many trials she's faced: cancer, selling the station, having to move. If only...I guess we can't live life in the "if only's"...But some days I think it would help if life had a rewind button. Then maybe I wouldn't have to miss so many people I love. Then maybe my heart wouldn't be sad on a day that used to be so full of celebration.

I miss you Grandpa Pete, I love you!

TOO LONG!

Well, let me start off by saying I am SOOO MAD! I had 2 or 3 paragraphs written and somehow deleted them! :( Now, it seems to me it has been WAT TOO LONG since I blogged. I thought I'd let you know we are in our last week of school!!! WE ALL SURVIVED!!! And not only did we survive our first year of homeschool, I am looking at another box of books as I sit and type this! We are going to follow through with another year next year. Be looking forward to stories from what that adventure holds!

Here's a picture of the kids in their new swimwear! I wanted them to have the rash guard swim shirts because the little 2 burn so easily. We have spent a couple of days in them now and no one has gotten burnies!! YAY!!!! Here they are striking a pose!

In more important news, Travis Graduated College over Mother's Day Weekend! I am so proud of him! His parents from Wyoming were able to come be with us and we enjoyed every second of the 2 days we had together. It is always too short of a visit. We are hoping it works out for us to go visit them later in the summer! :) Also, one of our friends from Germany was able to come and share in Travis' special day! It was a fun weekend full of reunions with special people in our lives!

Ashlynn's Hair

Ever since I got my hair cut, Ashlynn has been wanting to cut her's too. I really didn't want to and you can see why....It is so beautiful and so long!


But, I decided that if it was long enough to donate to a program that makes wigs for cancer patients, I would be ok with it. So, we discovered Pantene Beautiful Lengths. They only need 8 inches vs Locks of Love's 10. But, we took the plunge!

And she's still just as beautiful with short hair and did something wonderful for another person. She was so proud she is going to make someone else's dream come true!

Toothless

So, both the boys lost another tooth this week! That makes number 2 for Ethan and I think number 6 for Kalib. Plus, Kalib has one more that's wiggling around in there. We better be careful or I'm going to have to stock up on pudding, yogurt and applesauce!

They are so cute waiting for the "tooth fairy" to bring them money! The funny thing is, we told them it's us and that we'd still give them money, and they still said, "I know it's you, but can you still put money under my pillow anyway?" Too cute! Now we just play along and it's a fun game for all! I just love their innocence and the sweetness they bring into my life.

CHOPPED!!!!

So, I got my hair totally chopped off! This is not the best picture, but I have been too lazy to load a decent one. I wanted to donate my hair to locks of love or something of the like, but because I had bleach highlights at one point and it wasn't all grown out, I couldn't donate it because of the chemicals they use to treat the hair when they make the wigs. Anyhow, it's cut! And IT'S SHORT!! I am liking it more with each passing day! That's about all for us right now!

Eighty, Eighty, What a Lady!!

The kids and I were fortunate enough to be able to go spend about 10 days with my Grannie. We went to celebrate her 80th Birthday with her. Once I got there, my uncle told me they had been planning a surprise birthday celebration and putting together a scrapbook for her. I got busy and did my part to help out. It turned out to be a huge success mostly because my uncle, aunt, and cousins had already been working hard ordering cakes and getting the invitation out to all that could come. The best part is, my Grannie had no idea and was completely surprised! She kept saying, "Nobody told me!" And we kept saying, "We weren't supposed to!" hahaha!


(this is my Grannie after a long day of picking cotton in Missouri)

As I think about my Grannie, many wonderful memories come to mind. Her and my Grandpa spent many years caring for me and my brother and sisters. Our parents divorced when I was just a baby, and my dad had custody. This made him a single father of 4 who worked A LOT! That meant early morning drop offs with Grandpa and Grannie, or even spending the night with them on the regular. As I grew, I spent many days being spoiled by my Grannie. Still, as an adult, when I get sick, that's where I want to be! When I was a young teen, my grandpa got sick. The Doctors told them it was Alzheimer's. We quickly saw our brilliant hard working grandfather become someone who could just putter around the house and someone who needed my Grannie to care for him day and night. His needs consumed her, but she never seemed to mind. She has always said that Grandpa wouldn't have wanted to live that way, not knowing what he was doing, regressing in so many ways. But, she also said she never minded caring for him. It was a daunting task I don't know many who are capable of doing such a thing. But, for years, I think it was actually 9+ years that she spent feeding him, bathing him, dressing him, even changing him. The more he needed her the more she cared for him. The more she grew to love him. She still says that she knows the last years of his life he wasn't really him, but at least he was there and they could hold hands, dance and he would rub her feet. It was a forever love. She still wears his wedding band and her heart aches for his company everyday. He's been gone almost 8 years, and there is not a doubt in my mind that she misses him and I know she loves him with all of her heart just as much today as the first day they were married...probably more. Oh, and what makes it more incredible that she committed so much of her time caring for him? After he got sick, she was diagnosed with cancer and spent a good majority of his later years having surgeries. The doctors ended up cutting away a good portion of her face. She still can't close her mouth. She ended up having radiation treatments, and for now she is cancer free. Even if she wasn't, I know she's never going to trust another doctor to operate after what she's been through. I sit in amazement at this woman and all she's been through...after all the hardships and the giving, SHE STILL GIVES LOVINGLY TO OTHERS!!! What an incredible woman.

The love she has for my grandpa doesn't stop with him. I mean it's kind of expected, after all, they did spend their lives working together: running their gas station, caring for their children and grandchildren, and grieving the loss of loved ones. In their first few years of marriage, she lost a brother and they lost 2 children: my Grannie's only daughter died at birth and the twin brother 2 years later of leukemia. Shortly there after they had another son, my uncle. And shortly after him came another son, my dad. That was it in the way of kids for them, but like I said, it never stopped them from giving and caring for our family. And they now have 11 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren...probably more to come(not from me...hehe)! And still, to this day, if you show up on my Grannie's doorstep, she'll whip up a 10 course meal in no time and she'll be sure to serve you the sweetest tea and best candies and cookies available. There's nothing but love and hospitality coming from that woman!

I love my Grannie. She is a big contributor to who I am today, there aren't many people like her, and I am so glad I was able to celebrate such a wonderful birthday with her. If I live to be 80, I can only pray that my life is 1/2 as blessed as what hers has been! Of course, if you know her, you know she's not anywhere near the age 80, she's 29....AND HOLDING!

(This is the crew who was able to come together and celebrate in Salina, KS at my cousin's house.)

A look back in time...

I was trying to clean up our computer and take these photos and put them on disk and I got sidetracked thinking about where the time has gone...it seems like only yesterday that I was pregnant with Ashlynn and the boys were so little.


Sometimes, some days, when I look at the cute little babies in these pictures, it makes me want another...Now, if you know Travis and I, that is NOT about to happen! hahahaha! But, there's something about looking at the picture of your little tiny baby and wanting to hold them in your arms and feed them their bottle and watch them take their first steps. The first year of life is so amazing...don't get me wrong, each passing day, each passing moment is magical too. But, looking at these just made me miss my little babies! Maybe I'll bring back some more photos if you're lucky! We can remember together....It probably doesn't give you the same feeling inside as it does me to look at my sweet babies so tiny, but for a moment, I can look at these and remember what it was like when they were all so small! And, yes I know, boy am I in trouble when another 20 years has passed...But, hopefully by then I'll have grand babies to spoil! :) And that's even better than your own kids right? Because you can spoil them rotten and then send them home! :)

Oh, and PS, I can't get this layout to cooperate with me, so I am leaving it like this! :) NO chronological order, no birth order, no rhyme or reason to the way it's done...I'm surrendering to this blog the way it is....And, the OCD in me is SCREAMING....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!