Thinking, thinking...

I've been thinking a lot today. Mostly about family. Mainly my Grandpa Pete. Today is his Birthday, and also his and my Grannie's Anniversary. He passed away almost 9 years ago now. It hardly seems possible that he's been gone so long. Back in February, I wrote a blog about my Grannie and her 80th Birthday. I shared how special she is to me. Well, today I am reminded just how special he was to me too...I guess is to me. I can't even begin to put into words how much I miss him.

My Grandpa and Grannie really stepped up to the plate and helped out when my parents divorced when I was just a baby. As a result, they would care for us when Dad had to work early. When I started school, every single day, my Grandpa Pete would hold my hand and walk me across Highway 40 in good 'ol Granby, Co, just so he would make sure I was safe. Then again, every afternoon, he would come back across the highway, take my hand, and lead me safely back to the station or the house. I remember when I began to think I was too old to have him hold my hand and help me cross the street. You know when you're young and you're all worried about what the "cool" kids at school would say. Now, as an adult and him being gone, I would give anything to take his hand and cross that street with him. Funny how life changes?

Now, years after he's been gone, and years after my Grannie finally had to sell the station in Granby, I sit here and think of how different life is. I wonder how things could have changed "if only"...If only he wouldn't have gotten sick and they could have finished their life together. If only he was still with my Grannie to hold her hand when she was going through the many trials she's faced: cancer, selling the station, having to move. If only...I guess we can't live life in the "if only's"...But some days I think it would help if life had a rewind button. Then maybe I wouldn't have to miss so many people I love. Then maybe my heart wouldn't be sad on a day that used to be so full of celebration.

I miss you Grandpa Pete, I love you!